Be Tolerant…The World Needs It.

Another post from The Mindset Email. Enjoy!

Mindset for the day:
Be Tolerant…Because there is a shortage of tolerance in this world. Are you tolerant of other people, places and things? Do you allow for differences to exist around you without talking them down in your mind or with other people. Here is the joke…What you won’t tolerate still might tolerate you! Who’s better…You decide?

One thing I realized a long time ago was that if everyone thought like me, acted like me, dressed like and did what I did…THE WORLD WOULDN’T WORK. It would be a complete disaster. That’s not to say that I’m a mess, there simply wouldn’t be enough diversity to have the world function. So, why would I criticize that which makes the world actually work? I’ll tell you why…FEAR, INSECURITY and IGNORANCE.

Fear…That they may do something to me, make me look bad or be better that I am.
Insecurity…About what I cannot do, cannot be or mistakes that I might make along the way.
Ignorance…About other people and why they do what they do. It’s easy to criticize another when you haven’t done time in their shoes. There are differences that exist between cultures that I may never understand because my culture has taught me something different. Not to mention, it wasn’t even like I got to choose what I was taught…That’s just the way it is so I picked it up. For example, men are supposed to hold the door open for women in my culture. Is this true in other countries and cultures? Are they wrong for not doing it? Would I have a right to get upset if a man from another culture walked in front of my wife to enter a doorway first? Would it serve he and I better if I practiced tolerance?

The Problem:
We act like what we know is the way it should be for everyone. In most cases, what we know wasn’t even a choice. It was inherited via family, religion, culture or country. As a result, when something out of the norm shows up, we criticize it and deem it as wrong.

The Action Step:
Realization and self discipline are the forefront of today’s action step.

• Realize that there are differences in the world and they are okay.

• Realize that underneath the differences is a person just like you, who inherited habits and beliefs, and is trying to win the game of life and make it in today’s world.

• Have the self discipline to not disregard them as people.

• Have the resolve to allow them to be who they are.

• Utilize your self discipline to extent an invitation or a hello to that person with the understanding that they might be weary of you too.

Enjoy being a more powerful you…Have a fantastic day!
Matt “The Ways of Being Guy”

“The greatest gift you can give yourself is to be who you want to be…no matter what. There is no greater feeling of power, confidence and self control.”

You got your “Mind Set” by The Mindset Email.

©2009 Matt Brown

Are You Attractive Enough to Attract Opportunity.

Another post from The Mindset Email…Sign up now for your free month.

It’s time for your MINDSET Email!

Mindset for the day:
Be Attractive…Because being unattractive can keep people at bay.
Being attractive is more than how you look.  Some people are blessed with good looks and others…Not so much.  How you look has very little to do with how attractive you are.  I’m sure you know someone who is a knock out and a pain in the A$$ too.  They are just good to look at because dealing with them is way to much work.  So…I’ll ask you this.
Do you attract people?  If not…Why not?  Let’s take a look at a few qualities and characteristics that people find attractive.

Attractive vs. Unattractive
Kind vs Mean
Compassion vs Indifference
Generous vs Stingy
Enthusiasm vs Apathy
Real vs Bullshit
Open-Minded vs Narrow-Minded
Optimism vs Pessimism
Helpful vs Useless
Courage vs Coward
Fun vs Boring
A Smile vs A Frown
Honesty vs Deception
Attentive vs Disinterest
Where do you find yourself?  Where do other people find you?  Take a look and be bold with yourself.

The Action Step:
Take a hard look at the list above.  How often do you exist on the left side of that list?  Do a self assessment by asking yourself how often you are engaged in those characteristics that attract other people, opportunity and good fortune.  Write down what you could work on now that would make a difference immediately.  If you want more for yourself and your life you may want to tackle those things about yourself that are getting in your way.  No one is perfect and if that’s what you’re after…You’re fighting a battle that cannot be won.  However, taking on the MINDSET that you will always strive for more from yourself builds confidence, security and makes you attractive…Life exists in the journey.

Enjoy being a more powerful you…Have a fantastic day!
Matt “The Ways of Being Guy”

“The greatest gift you can give yourself is to be who you want to be…no matter what.  There is no greater feeling of power, confidence and self control.”

You got your “Mind Set” by The Mindset Email.  Sign up now for your free month of The Mindset Email.

©2009 Matt Brown

Be Forgiving…Hanging on is to shoot yourself in the foot.

It’s time for your MINDSET Email!

Mindset for the day:
Be Forgiving…Because hanging on to the anger and frustration is to squander the hours that might have been worth while.  I’ll say this once so listen up…If you are unwilling to forgive, the person who is sure to suffer is you.  The rest of the world is busy doing something else.
For the most part, people don’t think about you that much.  They are far too busy thinking about THEM SELF.  If you feel hurt or frustrated because of what someone has done to you.  They are probably more guilty of not thinking of you than directly trying to hurt you.   Being self absorbed is simply a condition of being human.  The survival mechanism in all of us says, “ME FIRST.”

If you’re anger is justified because someone has deliberately hurt you…Why continue to let them cause pain long after the fact?  If you want to get even…LET IT GO and think of them no more!  I’ll tell you a valuable piece of information that someone told me…You do not have to tell someone you’ve forgiven them to actually forgive them.

Sometimes people are so focused on being the top dog, winning and getting their way that they become oblivious to the harm they can cause.  Don’t hang on to anger because of someone’s stupidity or ignorance.  You will live a long miserable life if you do because stupidity and ignorance are an epidemic.

The Action Step:
Steps to LETTING GO…You may want a pen and paper for this.

• Write down your resentments…The one’s that chew on your mind!
• Prepare to read your list to someone else…If this makes your butt pucker, that means there are a few on there that you can let go of instantly.  These are the resentments that really have no merit.  Perhaps they are just to lame to speak of or they have run their coarse in time.
• Actually read the list to someone else…Do this with someone who is more of an acquaintance as they are less likely to believe your bullshit, should bullshit exist.
• Weigh your options…Check to see what you’re really gaining and losing by hanging on to your resentments.
• Write down those resentments or unforgivables that you want to keep.  Now, carry them with you on a piece of 8.5 x 11 note paper for one week.  Don’t stuff them in your purse, brief case or pocket.  Fold the paper in half and actually carry it with you in one hand no matter where you go.

By carrying that paper around you will see first hand what a pain in the ass hanging on to a resentment can be…You’ve just taken those resentments and made them concrete by writing them down and lugging that piece of paper where ever you go.  Feel the work, the disruption and realize the burden you are placing upon yourself.

This exercise may seem way out there, totally radical or completely unreasonable…I HOPE THAT’S EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL.  It’s your piece of mind and happiness that are at stake.

Oh yeah…One more thing.  When you harbor resentments, hang on to your anger and want to make other people wrong for how they are…You have just turned into that person who is unaware of the damage they can cause.  You cannot compartmentalize anger…You carry it with you and it gets projected onto the people in your life.  You better hope they are forgiving with you!

GIVE IT UP…YOU’LL GET YOUR LIFE OUT OF IT!!!

Enjoy being a more powerful you…Have a fantastic day!
Matt “The Ways of Being Guy”

“The greatest gift you can give yourself is to be who you want to be…no matter what.  There is no greater feeling of power, confidence and self control.”

You got your “Mind Set” by The Mindset Email.  Sign up for you free month of The Mindset Email. GO NOW!!!

©2009 Matt Brown

Be Consistent…With The Right Stuff.

Mindset for the day:
Be Consistent…Because repetition works!  There is a catch…Make sure you are consistent in ways that move you closer to what you want.  I’m sure you’ve done it, I know I have, you say you want one thing and then your actions aren’t consistent with what you want as the result.  When you find a way to be effective, stick with it and perfect it over time.   Never work against yourself!

The Action Step:
It’s time for a reality check.  Today let’s evaluate everything.  Take a look at what you do, and take a little time to see if you are spinning your wheels, back pedaling or moving forward.  Here are a few things to look for…

• Are you wasting time pretending to be busy?
• Does it take you 2 hrs to do a 20 task?
• Do you make lists or do you think and then guess your way to the finish line?
• Do you want to loose weight but you eat way to much.
• Do you say you’ll do something…Tomorrow and then tomorrow again.

Be consistent with “the right stuff” and you will amaze yourself with the results.

Enjoy being a more powerful you…Have a fantastic day!
Matt “The Ways of Being Guy”

“The greatest gift you can give yourself is to be who you want to be…no matter what.  There is no greater feeling of power, confidence and self control.”

You got your “Mind Set” by The Mindset Email.

©2009 Matt Brown

Balance = Results

Another post from The Mindset Email…ENJOY!!!

It’s time for your MINDSET Email!

Mindset for the day:
Be Balanced…Because if you don’t make time for “all of it” no one else will.  When referring to life, there is no road map on how to maintain balance.  Let’s try this…Balance could be the ability to juggle your options, in such a way, so that life feels whole and complete. You just can’t give equal time to everything because some things require more attention than others.  However, when you look at quality vs. quantity, it is possible to manage giving quality time to the different areas of your life with consistency.  So, there is an art to balancing the amount of attention you give to each area while achieving the results you desire.

The Action Step:
Grab your pen and paper…Get ready to make a difference.

1. Be aware in order to remain aware…Try a post it that says BALANCED!
2. Write down the areas of your life that require your consistent attention. Work, Family, Health, Finances, etc…
3. Based on past experience, evaluate how much time should be given to these area’s each day, week and month to achieve your desired outcomes.
4. Schedule the appropriate time for each area into each day, week and month.
5. Realize that this is a plan you can change…It doesn’t have to be perfect.
6. Now that you have created time, choose action steps to take during those time periods that you think will produce the results you want.  Here are a few examples to get you started.

• Kid Time-Pick an activity to do with your kids that will have them feel like you have spend hours with them fulfilling their needs…Even if you only have 90 minutes with them before they go to bed.

• Relationship Time-Pick one thing you can do for or with your special someone each day…Even if you only have 30 minutes.

• Fitness Time-Plan a workout routine that fits your schedule…If you only have 30 minutes 3 times per week, make it a great half hour of training.

• Work Time-Look to see how you can become more effective.  There are always periods throughout the work day that are wasted on activities that never make a difference.  ELIMINATE THEM!

• You Time-Schedule time for yourself…Even if it’s 10 minutes every other day.  Take that time to escape everything else and do what you love to do.

• Worry Time-This is a very important component to increasing your effectiveness.  When you schedule time to “worry” you can set worries and frustrations aside, as they occur, knowing that you have added time to your schedule to address them later.  Worry time also has you realize the lack of importance that most worries carry with them.  “EFFECTIVE WORRYING!” Why not?!?

Practice!  Actually test it to see if it works.  If you find that it doesn’t, make the necessary adjustments and test it once again.  Balance isn’t a right and wrong conversation.  It’s more like hit or miss!  Don’t beat yourself up for “how it’s been.”  If you owe a few apologies for having dropped the ball…Make them and move forward.  In the mean time, keep trying new things, be creative and enjoy the new juggling act.

Enjoy being a more powerful you…Have a fantastic day!
Matt “The Ways of Being Guy”

“The greatest gift you can give yourself is to be who you want to be…no matter what.  There is no greater feeling of power, confidence and self control.”

You got your “Mind Set” by The Mindset Email.  Sign up for your free month now!

©2009 Matt Brown

Being Intentional = Results

It’s time for another post from The MINDSET Email!

Mindset for the day:
Be Intentional…Do it on purpose!  Calculate what you are going to do, how you are going to do it and get to work.  Live into the intended outcome, be that person who is precise with who they are are and what they do.  Remember, the shortest distance between two points is a straight line…Get there!

The Action Step:
Create a list of tasks to accomplish today.  Don’t overwhelm yourself and put down 20 things your going to tackle with a full head of steam.  This action step is in place to show you how powerful you are and how precise you can be in getting things done.

1. Write out your tasks…5 at most.
2. Pick a “BY WHEN” time that each will be completed.
3. Write down what you need to do to complete each task.
4. Check to see if you have allowed enough time in step 2 to complete each task.
5. Create back up people to assist you…You do not need to contact them, simply have them on your list should you need assistance.
6. Focus on being intentional and IMPLEMENT!

As you complete each task check it off your list, put a line through it if it was completed on time.  If it was not, write down how long it took you and why.  Use this as a reference for future planning on the same or similar tasks.  If you do not complete the list, FORGIVE YOURSELF and put the remaining tasks on the list for the following day.  On a lighter note, have fun with this and step into your greatness.

Enjoy being you…Get a free month of The Mindset Email by visiting the link below!
Matt “The Ways of Being Guy”

“The greatest gift you can give yourself is to be who you want to be…no matter what.  There is no greater feeling of power, confidence and self control.”

You got your “Mind Set” by The Mindset Email.

©2009 Matt Brown

Are you at Peace with yourself?

Mindset for the day:
Be Peaceful…What would life be like for a day if you chose a peaceful point of view?  Would you be okay with…The way it is?  Would you feel more relaxed…In times of adversity?  Would you seek out and find…The silver lining?  What would be available to the other people in your life if…You were at ease?

Of course life would be better! But, you wouldn’t be effective and get what you wanted and needed…Right?  You are dead wrong!!!  Somewhere along the way you probably bought into the theory that “Nice finishes last.”  That was first said by some jerk who wanted to justify his/her behavior.  Still not convinced?  Did Gandhi finish last?  What about Mother Theresa…Last?  Not even close…They were a stand for peace and they were peaceful.  They inspired people because they gave them self to something and trusted the process.  What would life transform into if you were a stand for being peaceful and trusted the process as well?

Your new point of view. A different angle…If you will.  Why do we work so hard?  Why do we want so much?  The ANSWER: Because there are brief periods of calm, peace and happiness that follow what we have obtained.  If peace and happiness are the goal…Why do we run ourselves ragged to get only a glimpse of what we truly desire?  The reason…It’s status quo.  That’s just the way it is.  It’s how to win the game.  Did you ever stop to think that perhaps you are the only player in your made up game called “I’ll be happiest when…?”

You really are the only player. Here’s proof…How long have you been waiting for another player to do your life for you?  Has that person ever really shown up?  Not a chance…You may have a coach and a cheering section, but no one is YOU.  People can do everything for you…but they cannot be YOU.  I want you to get that you are responsible for your own peace in life.  The sooner you own it…the faster you become peaceful.

Action Step:
A short list is in order today.  After all, who can be peaceful with a huge list?  You actually can, but for now let’s practice the short one.

• Write down 5 things that you’re responsible for that you view as “Peace Disturbing.”

• Change the angle of your thinking about those 5 things…Then ask, “How can I not be so consumed and still be effective?”  If that isn’t possible…

• Give the thing to another qualified individual and let it go.

• Email me at Info@waysofbeing.com to get another view.

• Ask for assistance to complete that which binds the mind.

The most important thing is to be okay with trusting yourself, life and THE PROCESS.  Always be that which is extension of who you say you are.  Have all your actions run consistent with what you’re really after in life.  Don’t waste time chasing the end result, which is usually a means to an end anyway, be the experience you’re after…Peaceful and Happy.

Remember this…Everything you need you woke up with.  It all resides within you.

Enjoy being a more powerful you…Have a fantastic day!
Matt “The Ways of Being Guy”

“The greatest gift you can give yourself is to be who you want to be…no matter what.  There is no greater feeling of power, confidence and self control.”

You got your “Mind Set” by The Mindset Email.

©2009 Matt Brown

Let it go…

Another post from THE MINDSET EMAIL.

Mindset for the day:
Be Forgiving…Because hanging on to the anger and frustration is to squander the hours that might have been worth while.  I’ll say this once so listen up…If you are unwilling to forgive, the person who is sure to suffer is you because the rest of the world is busy doing something else.

For the most part, people don’t think about you that much.  They are far too busy thinking about themselves.  If you feel hurt or frustrated because of what someone has done to you.  They are probably more guilty of not thinking of you than directly trying to hurt you.   Being self absorbed is simply a condition of being human.  The survival mechanism in all of us says, “ME FIRST.”

If you’re anger is justified because someone has deliberately hurt you…Why continue to let them cause pain long after the fact?  If you want to get even…LET IT GO and think of them no more!  I’ll tell you a valuable piece of information that someone told me…You do not have to tell someone you’ve forgiven them to actually forgive them.

Sometimes people are so focused on being the top dog, winning and getting their way that they become oblivious to the harm they can cause.  Don’t hang on to anger because of someone’s stupidity or ignorance.  You will live a long miserable life if you do because stupidity and ignorance are an epidemic.

The Action Step:
Steps to LETTING GO…You may want a pen and paper for this.

1. Write down your resentments…The one’s that chew on your mind!
2. Prepare to read your list to someone else…If this makes your butt pucker, that means there are a few on there that you can let go of instantly.  These are the resentments that really have no merit.  Perhaps they are just to lame to speak of or they have run their coarse in time.
3. Actually read the list to someone else…Do this with someone who is more of an acquaintance as they are less likely to believe your bullshit, should bullshit exist.
4. Weigh your options…Check to see what you’re really gaining and losing by hanging on to your resentments.
5. Write down those resentments or unforgivables that you want to keep.  Now, carry them with you on a piece of 8.5 x 11 note paper for one week.  Don’t stuff them in your purse, brief case or pocket.  Fold the paper in half and actually carry it with you in one hand no matter where you go.
6. By carrying that paper around you will see first hand what a pain in the ass hanging on to a resentment can be…You’ve just taken those resentments and made them concrete by writing them down and lugging that piece of paper where ever you go.  Feel the work, the disruption and realize the burden you are placing upon yourself.

This exercise may seem way out there and completely unreasonable…I HOPE THAT’S EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL.  It’s your piece of mind and happiness that are at stake.

Oh yeah…One more thing. When you harbor resentments, hang on to your anger and want to make other people wrong for how they are…You have just turned into that person who is unaware of the damage they can cause.  You cannot compartmentalize anger…You carry it with you and it gets projected onto the people in your life.  You better hope they are forgiving with you!

Whether your mad at them or yourself, give it up…YOU’LL GET YOUR LIFE OUT OF IT!

Enjoy being a more powerful you…Have a fantastic day!
Matt “The Ways of Being Guy”

“The greatest gift you can give yourself is to be who you want to be…no matter what.  There is no greater feeling of power, confidence and self control.”

You got your “Mind Set” by The Mindset Email.

©2009 Matt Brown

Be unique in a world that like duplicates!

Another post from The Mindset Email…

It’s time for your MINDSET Email!

Mindset for the day:
Be Unique…Be yourself! Before we dive into this, I want to set it straight that I’m not suggesting you go color your hair pink simply to stand out. However, if that’s who you are and how you want to be known, you should do just that. The point…Be yourself and be okay with it.

How to be unique and still function in a world that like duplicates…

• You’ll still want to follow the basic rules that exist where ever you go…Respect the environment or culture where you reside be it home, work, school etc…

• Say what you need to say and say it with respect. Notice that I did not suggest that you say what you want to say. Saying what you need to say is something entirely different. There are too many people out there with “Diarrhea” of the mouth. You don’t have to join in…If that’s not who you are.

• Do that which is an extension of you…Doing what isn’t you creates inner conflict and turmoil. What’s the point of that?

• Dress how you want to dress. If there are rules…Keep it inside of those parameters.

• Be selective. What you do is a reflection of you. Who you spend time with says something about you. What you say and how you say it…Is you! At least that’s how the world will know and identify you. It is of paramount importance that you choose wisely.

The Action Step:
It’s all about awareness today. Keep a note pad, a folded piece of paper or be ready to take notes on your smart phone or PDA. Notice where you aren’t you as you move throughout the day. How? There will be those times where you say…

• “I wish I would have…”

• “Next time I’ll…”

• “If I could do that again I’d…”

These are all times where you probably weren’t being YOU. Now, ask yourself these questions…

• Why wasn’t I being who I wanted to be or doing what I wanted to do?

• What can I do next time?

• Will I actually do something different in the future?

• If not, why not?

There are no right and wrong answers to any of this…It’s an inquiry into being yourself. Step back from time to time and conduct an assessment of “The Self.” If you want to design your life you’ll have to design your life. Otherwise, the world will do it for you. Watch out because you may get caught up in “THE HERD.” While the black sheep stand out…It’s still a sheep.

Be unique! Be yourself! The rest of the world will adapt and you’ll love yourself for taking a stand for being “The one and only…YOU.”

Enjoy being a more powerful you…Have a fantastic day!
Matt “The Ways of Being Guy”

“The greatest gift you can give yourself is to be who you want to be…no matter what. There is no greater feeling of power, confidence and self control.”

You got your “Mind Set” by The Mindset Email. Get a free month of The Mindset Email.

©2009 Matt Brown

Do You Compartmentalize Your Health?

Today’s post is from The Mindset Email.

It’s time for your MINDSET Email!

Mindset for the day:
Be Healthy…What comes to mind when you hear the word healthy? If your like most you probably think of Exercise and Diet. Those are certainly high on the list and should be looked at as something to take action towards. There are other avenues to being healthy as well. There is mental, spiritual and emotional health. Let’s try something today…What would life look like if you were to contribute something to each area daily? Would your experience of life shift if you had daily practices in place that supported a lifestyle of physical, mental and emotional health. I’m leaving out the spiritual component because I don’t believe that should be forced upon anyone…However, it is a large part of my peace and happiness. Please add it to you daily routine if you choose.

The Action Step:
Pen and paper is required. Write the areas that make up what you call a healthy lifesytle. Next to each area list 3 practices that you could choose form daily. Here is an example…
Physical Health
Exercise – Daily Stretching Routine, Weight Training, Cardiovascular Conditioning
Diet – Drink enough water, Eat Small Snacks, Plan out meals for the week
Mental Health – Write out plans for the day, take 10 minutes for me, read book on motivation.
Emotional Health – spend time with a friend, share thoughts with others, ask for help when needed.
Spiritual Health – Make a gratitude list, pray, ask for guidance.

In doing this exercise you’re setting the stage for consistency and success. It doesn’t have to be perfect and it should be updated and changed as you make progress.

Enjoy being you…Have a fantastic day!
Matt “The Ways of Being Guy”

“The greatest gift you can give yourself is to be who you want to be…no matter what. There is no greater feeling of power, confidence and self control.”

You got your “Mind Set” by The Mindset Email. Sign up for a free month of The Mindset Email at The Mindset Email

©2009 Matt Brown